you'd be so pretty if...

Photo Retouching: Behind the Magic

In my recent post about the effects of "reality" makeover shows on women and their body image, I mentioned that all of us look at media images through our own body image lens. I also mentioned the terms "digital retouching" and "dramatic effect."

When I tell you that magazine and advertising images are digitally retouched, I'm sure that doesn't exactly come as a surprise. A nip here or a blemish removal there is all part of perfecting the image, right? But you might be surprised at the level of retouching that goes into some photographs.

Thanks to my new obsession with Twitter Search, I came across an excellent example of how re-touching is used in photos. Check out these images from the digital portfolio of Greg Apodaca, who works as a digital retoucher for pre-press houses, design studios and advertising agencies. Spend some time rolling your mouse over the images and you'll get a real feel for why it's so easy for women  -- and for our daughters -- to beat up on ourselves for not looking model perfect. 

Make no mistake -- the models are still absolutely beautiful. But when you see the before and after, you'll notice something that's left out of most magazine and advertising photos: They're also human.

So the next time your daughter starts clipping magazine photos and putting them on the refrigerator as diet inspiration, I hope you'll take her to this site and show her what's behind the illusion. "Fit and healthy" is a great goal to strive for, but perfection?

It just doesn't exist.

Jealousy & Jessica's Pants

My daughter tells me I should avoid citing studies in my blog posts. "They're boring, Mom," she says, telling the truth like only an almost-13-year-old can. But the journalist in me can't help it; studies are usually the springboard for digging deeper into a juicy health topic.

Like this one: You may have heard about the recent study by University of Southern California Professor Julie Albright, which found that makeover shows that promote plastic surgery, such as "Extreme Makeover" and "Dr. 90210," make women feel more anxious about their bodies. The study, "Impossible Bodies," surveyed 662 college students in Los Angeles and Buffalo about their viewing habits and body image. "Women are being taught to access power and status through their looks," Albright is quoted as saying.

That's not exactly news, is it?

As I was reading the news release on the study, my daughter happened to pop into my office and peer over my shoulder. "Not another study," she sighed.

"Well," I said. "Let me ask you. We like to watch America's Next Top Model and What Not to Wear. How do you feel after we watch those shows?"

"I feel jealous," she said.

"Really?" I asked, leaning forward and bracing for the impact of a major body image revelation. "Why?"

"Because they have $5,000 to spend on clothes and I don't," she said.

There you have it...straight from the source.

When I finished laughing and shooed her out of my office, it got me thinking. Can a TV show really make you feel bad about your body? We're all watching TV shows, reading magazines and poring over online content through our own personal body image lens. If you're already unhappy with your looks, I'm sure these shows could make you feel worse. But if you're generally happy?

The key, I firmly believe, is to teach our girls -- and ourselves -- how to filter what we see and read. An understanding of digital retouching and staging for dramatic effect needs to be part of our media mindset. And, as always, so does lots of talking about this stuff. 

On another media-related note, have you all been following this hoopla over Jessica Simpson and her pants?

Must have been a slow news day.

What's Your 'Magic Number'?

Did you know that last week was National Healthy Weight Week?

 

Me either.

 

But now that I know, it brings up an interesting question: What's the difference between a "healthy" weight and an "ideal" weight? I'm not talking medical ideal here -- I'm talking that "magic number" many of us have kept in our heads for years. Maybe it's the weight you were in high school. Maybe it's the weight you were on your wedding day. Maybe it's your best friend's weight or your sister's weight or the weight your mom always tells you she was at your age.

 

For too many of us, it seems, getting back to a particular weight is how we define moving forward in our lives.

 

As many of my longtime readers of Fit In Real Life know, I spent a year obsessed with the scale when I wrote the 2007 Weight-Loss Diary column for Shape magazine. As part of that process, I had to set a goal weight for myself. Though I thought about using the weight I was in high school as a marker, I snapped out of it when I remembered that that particular weight was fueled by fear, anxiety and a mild eating disorder. So I set a slightly heavier, but definitely healthier goal for myself.

 

What do I weigh today? I have no idea...and I intend to keep it that way.

 

My new definition of personal ideal isn't a magic number, but a magic question: How do I feel today?

 

Check out what the folks over at the Healthy Weight Network have to say about ideal weights. And tomorrow, instead of stepping on the scale and asking, "How much do I weigh?", try looking in the mirror and asking, "How do I feel?" 

 

The answer might just surprise you. 

 

 

Join the Rebellion!

Growing up, I had a pretty severe case of "good girl syndrome" -- you know, got good grades, stayed out of trouble and generally tried hard to please (not that there's anything wrong with that, especially if my daughter's reading this!). That's why I was tickled recently to be named a "Sister in Beauty Rebellion" by The Dressing Room Project, a non-profit initiative aimed at teaching girls to see themselves in a new way.

 

It feels so good to be bad ;-).

 

Seriously, The Dressing Room Project is all about helping girls share positive messages with each other and with all women. One of my favorites? "You will be beautiful if you believe it."

 

That's a message so many women and girls need to hear.

 

So thanks to The Dressing Room Project for this honor and for its hard work in helping girls grow up feeling good not just about how they look, but about who they are.

Women & Body Image: A Q&A with Author Leslie Goldman

Today, I’m thrilled to have a Q&A with Leslie Goldman, author of Locker Room Diaries: The Naked Truth About Women, Body Image, and Re-imagining the "Perfect" Body and body image blogger extraordinaire over at iVillage's NeverSayDiet.com. Leslie, thanks for stopping by!

Q: Tell us a bit about your own body image history. What’s your journey been like?

A: I developed an eating disorder during my freshman year of college in 1994. I was a bit of a cliché: The perfectionistic, straight A overachiever who suddenly found herself a small fish in a huge ocean. I lost 30 pounds very rapidly through overexercising and undereating. It was all very textbook and ironically, I was a nutritional sciences major. It took a long time to get over and I had a few relapses along the way – throughout college and when I was graduating and going out into the real world.

Today, I have a new appreciation for my body. I’ve been dealing with a neck injury and I can’t work out like I used to. I go to the gym, but I don’t push myself and I do my physical therapy exercises religiously every day.

Q: Did your mom’s body image have an effect on the way you feel about your own body? What did you learn from watching and listening to her?

A: Growing up, I looked very different from my mom. Her, and my dad, are shorter, heavier, with dark hair. I was originally  chubbier but I had hypothyroidism and my mom recognized the symptoms when I was in the fifth grade. As I started to take medicine for the condition and grew, I got taller and thinner and I was almost praised for not looking like my mother. People actually used to ask if I was adopted.

Now, my mom has multiple sclerosis and that’s been a big eye-opener. There are a lot more important things in the world than, “How big is my butt?” when you’re asking, “Can I walk today?”

Q: You interviewed a lot of women while writing Locker Room Diaries. What was the most surprising thing you learned about the way women relate to their bodies?

A: I interviewed identical twins while writing the book and that was really fascinating. We women look at each other and compare ourselves to women we see in the locker room or at Starbucks or out on the street. But how many of us actually have another person who looks exactly like us – an instant objective reminder of how our bodies look? Talking to them was really interesting.

I also loved talking to the older women and hearing the appreciation they have for their bodies. I remember thinking, “I hope I don’t have to wait until I’m 80 to have that kind of appreciation.”

Q: What advice would you give to readers who continue to struggle with feeling good about their bodies?

A: I’d say reach out to older women in your life and talk about your body image struggles. Listen to what they have to say and to their perspective. If you let it sink in, you can gain a lot from their wisdom. I’ve learned a lot from my mom by watching how she copes with her MS.

Q: Any advice for moms of young girls?

A: When I was 13, I was horrible to my mom! She lived her life for me and I’d say things like, “Please pull around to the back entrance so no one sees me.” I was in a clique in junior high school with the pretty popular girls – most of whom had thin moms -- and I’d think, “Why can’t you look like Jennifer’s mom?” But when I hugged my mom, she felt warm and cuddly. She wasn’t worried about me messing up her hair.

I’d tell moms whose girls are pulling away from them that they will come back to you. I did by 17. In fact, I’m about have a “girls weekend” with my mom -- sometimes, you just want the comfort of your mom, and I can’t wait to see her!

Thanks for stopping by, Leslie. Hope it’s a great weekend for you and your mom.

Role Model Moment: Dealing With Stress

I confess: I've been known to hit the chocolate while under pressure.

 

As I've worked to become healthier, though, I've also worked to change how I react to stress. I've discovered that food-wise, it's mostly about "crunching" for me, so I now keep cut-up vegetables (peppers are my favorite!) handy when it's a deadline-heavy week. I also know that working out makes a huge difference in my overall stress level (including my sleep habits), so I do my best not to skip exercise -- no matter how busy I am (not always easy). And if you read last week's post on exercise and the brain, you know how I feel about exercise's effect on my thinking.

 

All of these are healthy ways of dealing with stress and they're habits that I'm trying to model for my children. For me, it's about teaching them that when stress, pressure and fear appear in their lives, the healthiest thing to do is stay calm, take a breath and make good decisions.

 

Of course, when you're under stress, those things are all pretty darned hard to do, aren't they? Screaming or diving right into a bag of chips feels so much easier.

 

It turns out that stress and the chemicals it produces have a huge effect not only on how we feel, but on how we look, too. Here, Melissa Kirdzik, RD, my dietitian during my year as Shape magazine's Weight-Loss Diary columnist, stops by to tell us about stress and what it can do to the body:

 

With any type of stressor -- major or minor -- your body will release stress hormones to help you deal with the situation. Adrenaline and cortisol are secreted and will circulate around your body each time you feel stressed. Problems arise when you're constantly under stress and you're continually exposed to these hormones. Over time, your body may respond with conditions like anxiety and depression, weight gain and digestive problems, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, a weakened immune system and skin problems like acne or eczema.

 

Melissa recommends figuring out what stresses you the most. Is it dealing with your boss, your morning commute or your in-laws? How do you react when you're in these situations?

 

To help manage stress in a healthy way, Melissa says, try these tips:

• Eat more protein and fiber-filled foods to help keep your blood sugar stable. Sugar crashes can make you feel worse.
• Keep yourself properly hydrated and thinking clearly.
• Exercise or get active to get your endorphins flowing.
• Take a few deep breaths. It may help you realize that your problems aren't as bad as they seem.
• Step back for a moment. What advice would you give to a friend -- or to your kid -- if they were dealing with this situation?

Imagine what a great service you're doing for your kids (and their kids, someday) if you can model calm, positive ways of dealing with the pressures we all inevitably face. The next time you're feeling stressed to the max, take a deep breath and think, "Is this worth my health?"

 

I'm willing to bet the answer is no.

A Great Conversation Starter

Have you caught this new TV show True Beauty yet? Produced by Tyra Banks and Ashton Kutcher, the ABC network show is taking a group of contestants who believe themselves to be quite beautiful and putting them through a series of challenges to test their "inner and outer beauty."

 

The catch?

 

The contestants don't know about the "inner beauty" part. They think they're being judged solely on their good looks, with the winner being awarded a cash prize and a spot in People magazine's "100 Most Beautiful People" feature.

 

When we saw the show's promo, my almost 13-year-old daughter immediately said, "I want to watch that." So yesterday, we watched the first episode, which we'd recorded. There was plenty of preening, pouting and camera panning of muscles, breasts and legs. Watching the contestants talk to the camera about their own beauty and why they were the most beautiful person in the world was -- at times -- downright cringe inducing. As you know, I'm all for healthy self-esteem and having a great body image.

 

But...wow.

 

My daughter and I watched as a plastic surgeon measured angles and bone structure to "scientifically" determine who was the most beautiful. That sparked a lovely conversation, not only between us but between the contestants, too. What makes a person beautiful? Can it be measured? Or is it a combination of things?

 

Some studies have shown that physical attractiveness can be measured -- studies on mating have found that certain physical qualities tend to be more attractive to both men and women. But can a person still be called beautiful if their actions, behavior and personality aren't quite as lovely as their exterior? That's the question the show seems to be trying to answer.

 

Watching the contestants unknowingly be put through their "inner beauty" challenges, which in this episode including resisting the temptation to look through the files on other contestants and whether or not they'd open the door for a guy carrying two full trays of hot coffees, felt kind of icky. The journalist in me is skeptical of the idea that you can determine a person's "inner beauty" from one isolated incident of not holding a door for someone. There's always more to the story.

 

Still, it's a mildly intriguing concept for a show and my daughter seems captivated. We'll probably keep watching -- and keep talking -- about what really makes a person beautiful.

 

And that's a good thing.

 

 

Stop That!

I read an interesting bit of information recently that offered advice on breaking bad habits. There were the usual "bads" -- smoking, eating junk food, biting your nails, etc. -- but it got me thinking about bad habits of the mind.

 

More specifically, it got me thinking about self-body bashing.

 

You know what I'm talking about. Those times when we look into the mirror and focus only on what we don't like or what we'd like to change about the way we look. Or those times when someone pays us a compliment and we simply brush it off. Or even those times when we imagine our lives would be different, better somehow, if only our bodies weren't [insert body insult here].

 

So while I was reading this advice on how to break bad habits, I realized that some of it could be used to stop body bashing, too. Like this: "Become more aware." Habits are so hard to break, said the article, because we're often simply unaware that we're doing whatever it is we're doing. Try it for a day: Every time you think a bad thought about your body, say, "Stop that." At the very least, you'll become more aware of how hard you're being on yourself.

 

Another bit of advice? "Substitute other activities." Try making a pact with yourself that every time you find a flaw in your body, you have to point out something you love about your body, too. If you can't find something you love, then you don't get to find the flaws either. It's my new rule. Just do it.

 

Here's one I like, too: "Be patient." Bad habits often develop over years, according to the article, so we can't expect them to change overnight. Working toward developing a more positive body image is a process. If you hit the gym today, glance at the mirror as you're on the treadmill and think, "I'm looking pretty good," that's progress.

 

Breaking a bad habit -- any bad habit -- requires acknowledging your own choices and the role you play in your situation. Check out this great post about blame and personal accountability over at MizFit. Thought-provoking stuff, isn't it?

 

Changing a habit or thought process that you've held on to for a long time can feel really intimidating. And at a time of year when many people make resolutions about grand sweeping changes to their lives, it's easy to forget that real, lasting change is usually made in baby steps -- and builds from there. 

 

What first step are you going to take?

 

 

A Beautiful Mind

I do my best writing mid-morning (read: post coffee), but I've found that if I work out before sitting down at my desk, two or three hours of writing practically fly by. I've also found that if I get stuck mid-paragraph, a quick break to take a walk with my dog often shakes an idea or two loose. For me, a set of jumping jacks usually works better than a caffeine boost to get the mind going again.

 

It turns out there's some science behind my habits and the good news is it works for kids, too. As I was flipping through my Sunday paper yesterday, I came across this article in the latest issue of Parade magazine. According to the piece, not only do fit kids achieve at a higher academic level, but fit girls demonstrated even greater achievement than boys.

 

Think there's no connection? Check out what John Medina, author of Brain Rules, has to say about exercise and our brains.

 

Fascinating, isn't it? Then again, I'm kind of a brain geek.

 

I love studies like these because they give us moms another weapon in our arsenal when trying to keep our kids active. When we can point to a long list of health benefits, we can help our girls see that exercise isn't all about simply striving for a beautiful body or some unattainable ideal. It's about feeding and building a fit and beautiful mind.

 

All I know is this: The next time my daughter's frustrated by her algebra homework, I might just suggest a quick walk around the block together. Couldn't hurt, right?

Body Changes: Love 'Em or Fight 'Em?

Coloring my hair used to be something I did totally for fun. Blond streaks, red highlights, dark brown -- my hair's been every color under the sun (including, once, an unfortunate shade of bright green after an ill-timed swim in the pool). These days, I rely on color less for fun and more for hiding those pesky grays that keep appearing. Do you remember when you spotted your first gray hair? (If you haven't spotted one yet, I don't want to know).

 

I turned 40 last year and honestly, I don't feel 40. Thanks to healthy eating and working out, my body looks and feels better now than it did at 30. But all the healthy habits in the world can't keep Mother Nature from knocking on the door. And it's not only aging that changes us -- just ask any woman who's ever given birth. The number on the scale might be the same and the clothing size might be the same...but the body? Not quite.

 

I had the opportunity to explore the topic of how a woman's body (and body image) changes over time in "Welcome to Your New (Old) Body," an article I wrote for the latest issue of VIV magazine. My experts made one message abundantly clear: If you want to be happy with your body as you get older, the most important body part to exercise is your brain. That's not to say we should all flop on the couch with a bag of cookies and call it a day -- healthy eating and exercise helps us look and feel fabulous, no matter what our age. But loving your changing body ultimately means appreciating all of the life choices and changes -- getting older (and, hopefully, wiser), finishing school, working, giving birth, surviving a loss or an illness -- that have brought you to the body you stand in today.

 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't occasionally disturbed by the snap, crackle and pop that my bones make when I first get up in the morning. And though I'm in good physical shape, I have no doubt that a fit 25-year-old could easily outrun me in a foot race. And, yeah, sometimes I look in the mirror and wistfully remember my tiny pre-baby waist...but then I hear my son's belly laugh from the next room. Need I say more?

 

How about you? What changes are you seeing in your body as time goes on? Are you accepting them, appreciating them or fighting them with all you've got?