As I was reading through different studies and news reports the other day, I came across this news item about Mexican-American women and their body image. The most telling line? "They are more confident in their curves and those who diet do it more to avoid illness than to look good in their clothing..." Then there's this item from the Times Online, talking about the fact that once again, curves are in (albeit with an apparently whole new set of rules about what curvy women can and can't wear, but that's a post for another day). Still, it's all got me thinking about trends -- they certainly come and go in fashion, but do they come and go in body image, too?
When it comes to bodies and what's considered "attractive," it all depends on where you are, who you are and the cultural values of the person doing the evaluating. I had a childhood friend who, while perfectly healthy, always felt that she was too big. But one summer, she took a trip with her family to her mom's native Italy and came back a changed young lady. Not in physical form, mind you, but in attitude. The Italian boys loved her curvy frame and her family couldn't get over just how beautiful she was. When she returned to the U.S., she was a different person: Confident and charismatic.
To this day, that remains one of my favorite body image stories because it illustrates so clearly that at any point, we can choose to see ourselves in a new way -- and that what we choose to see has a ripple effect throughout our lives. It gives me hope that girls raised in families where they feel accepted and "just right" -- and have moms (and dads) who feel the same way -- can carry that feeling with them and use it to shake off the body angst that swirls around them in our media culture.
As moms, we play a big part in creating a culture of acceptance within our homes. It starts with accepting ourselves. Can't look in the mirror without fixating on your biggest "flaw?" Try imagining for just one day that whatever you see as your biggest flaw is actually a sign of great beauty to those around you. Jiggly thighs? Gorgeous! Round middle? Envied by others!
I hope you're smiling by now because I know it sounds silly. But imagine carrying that attitude with you as you go about your day. Think it wouldn't matter? Remember my friend's trip to Italy and how all the things she didn't like about herself were suddenly valued and desirable.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes.
Oh, this is so true!!! Different cultures definitely have different ideals!
If you look at portraits of women from the 18th and 19th centuries, they're definitely more zaftig. This was the ideal because it represented wealth. The "upper classes" had plenty of food and didn't work outside in the fields, so pale and plump was "in."
These days the "ideal" is tan and thin. Wealthy folks are supposed to spend all their time and money on vacations at exclusive resorts, plastic surgery, and personal trainers.
I remember visiting the south of France as a teenager, and feeling REALLY good about my body for the first time in a really long time! We were in the Mediterranean, and women of all shapes, sizes and hues were proudly parading around in bikinis.
Yesterday I took a hot yoga class. They ask you to focus on yourself in the mirror. My first thought was "ugh." But I made a conscious decision to change that thought. Instead of "fat," I say "juicy" whenever I look in the mirror. Sounds much nicer, lol!
Posted by: Alyssa | 04/13/2009 at 09:11 AM
You're totally right. After taking classes in Greek and Roman art and architecture, it really opened my eyes as to the beauty of the human body. The ancient Greeks and Romans were all about the curves and plumpness. There's so much beauty in all humans, no matter what our shape and size and features and all, that it's just fascinating and wonderful to really LOOK at people and appreciate all the tiny details that make them who they are.
Posted by: Sagan | 04/13/2009 at 01:25 PM
"Juicy." I love that, Alyssa!
Sagan, you've got a great attitude. You're so right about appreciating the details that make us who we are.
Posted by: Dara Chadwick | 04/15/2009 at 06:10 AM