Measuring Success

Yesterday marked the end of a long summer tournament schedule for my 13-year-old daughter's fast-pitch softball team. Just about every weekend for the last eight weeks, we've loaded up her gear, driven to the appointed field and watched her team play as many as three games a day, all for the chance to win that shiny first-place trophy.

They didn't win a single tournament.

But what they did win was increased confidence, a strong team bond and a respect for what their bodies can do. Each week, they got better and better and yesterday, they lost the chance to play in the championship game by just one run.

It was a heart-breaking loss.

While the team didn't chalk up any tournament wins, I wouldn't hesitate to call my daughter's summer softball experience a success. Why? I watched her tap into strengths -- both physical and mental -- that she didn't know she had. For example, I watched her learn to slide through dust and mud (in 90-plus degree weather, no less) to beat the tag, time after time. I watched her further hone her ability to discern between a good pitch and a pitch that wasn't worth swinging at. I watched her lift her teammates' spirits when they were feeling down. And I watched her take a really hard hit from a wayward pitch, but refuse to leave the field -- even as she stood on first base, wiping away tears.

She's learned to respect and appreciate her body for what it can do -- none of which has anything to do with what it looks like.

That's what sports can do for girls. And even though it meant giving up just about every weekend of my summer -- and many week nights to practice times -- I would do it all over again in a minute.

Because to me, that's a successful season.

Comments

[Lance]

Dara,
Having three kids in sports, I can relate to this. Especially for our daughter. She played her first season of fast pitch softball this summer. And I watched as she excelled at playing catcher. And then I also watched as she was hesitant when she played pitcher - as much as the coach believed in her. And there's a lesson in all of that. Confidence. And the backing of others (teammates) and how that can boost confidence. And isn't that similar to how we feel about ourselves? If we have a level of confidence in our mind, then we're much more poised to be confident in who we are...just the way we are. And that is something sports gives us.

So, Dara, so good for your daughter to have had this experience, and it's something that she's not going to get by you trying to just teach this stuff to her. Learned through real life experiences...life lessons that will stick with her. A successful season indeed!

[Sagan]

That's fantastic! I played field hockey when I was about her age, we were TERRIBLE and lost every single game, but we all had so much fun and our coach- who happened to be my mum- was way more concerned with us having a good time than us winning. I think that's why I like sports so much.

[Mathew Edvik]

Dara,

I coach a girls basketball team at a small high school. We are actually a residential treatment center. I could not agree more that playing sports can give girls a sense of confidence in themselves that they can learn in no other way.

I had a girl on my team that had major anger issues. She was fouled hard toward the end of the game. She got up from the floor with her fists balled ready to fight someone. I quickly called a time out and pointed out to her that this was her test. Her test to see if she could overcome what she was feeling inside. She made one of two foul shots and we ended up winning the game by one point.

She and I had many conversations about that moment, and it is something she will remember the rest of her life.

I know this does not apply to body image per se, but I think the idea is still true. There are opportunities to teach our girls incredible life principles through athletics.

[Dara Chadwick]

Thanks, Lance and Mathew for sharing your thoughts. Mathew, your story is inspiring!

Sagan, I love that you had such a great field hockey experience.