What Really Scares Me at Halloween

I'm not usually a big ranter -- in public, anyway -- but at what point did a "holiday" for children become all about women looking sexy?

Last week, I took my kids to a local Halloween store (one of those places that moves in temporarily in the month before Halloween) to look for costumes. My son, who's 11, made a beeline for the scariest costumes he could find, and ended up choosing this freaky, demented-looking jester mask that gives me the willies every time I look at it.

But I digress...

My daughter (who has hated Halloween and all things scary since the day she was born) and I spent some time in the women's costume area, where she planned to examine the happier costumes -- she's still on the fence about whether she's going to take part in festivities at all -- in case she found one she liked.

What we saw in that department was even scarier.

My family is Scottish, so when I spotted a plaid kilt, I said, "Hey, look at this one." I walked up to the package, took one look and said, "Never mind."

My 13-year-old will not be dressing as the "Sexy Scottie" this year.

We combed through dozens of costumes, but she left the store empty-handed. There wasn't much choice for a young lady who's beyond fairy princesses, but not quite ready for "sexy sorceress."

When I got home, I searched online a bit where I found -- I kid you not -- plenty of choices like "sexy dirty cop," "sexy school girl," "Playboy Touchdown Tease" and -- wait for it -- "Captain Booty Pirate."

Sigh.

Before you call me a stick in the mud, I realize that Halloween is about make-believe and, to some degree, maybe even living out a fantasy version of yourself. But from looking at some of these costumes, it's pretty clear whose fantasy it is.

I'm still holding out hope for the "I feel great about who I am and I don't need you to tell me what that should look like" costume.

But I guess it's too hard to fit all that on a package.

Comments

[Cynthia (It All Changes)]

That is my chief complaint about the holiday. I'm a pretty modest woman (I'm a Pastor for pete's sake) and I will not be dressing as any of those things. So my only options are to make my own costume or not participate.

And I feel for the teenage girls who aren't ready to be baring it all for others.

[Jami]

I'm just using the hippie costume I made for myself last year. I love Halloween but the store bought costume choices stink. Especially when you're fat and every single costume clings to everything.

But sex sadly sells and we're becoming more and more sex-obsessed. For some reason people think it's "empowering" for women to reveal it all. I think it's stupid. Whatever happened to leaving something to the imagination?

[Malia]

We had trunk or treat at our church last night and I saw a few costumes on some 8 & 9 year old girls that surprised me. I have a 9 year old daughter and so far, she's on board with modesty but I still wonder what the coming years will bring in terms of pushing the limits at Halloween.

I really liked this post. Thank you for sharing your thoughts about this!

[Lazygal]

The costumes labeled "librarian" are also pretty horrific! What happened to being creative and dressing in an interesting way, without baring it all? I can't believe that many of these sell well except to skinny college students.

[Alyssa]

I agree 100%!!!!!!! Two years ago, when my daughter was FOUR YEARS OLD, I had the hardest time finding a non-sexy costume for her! A 4 year-old!
I have no trouble finding great costumes for my son, but for my daughter, it's an entirely different story, and it's so frustrating. And I've pretty much given up on wearing costumes myself. I have NO desire to be a "Sexy Eskimo," thanks very much.
(And aside from the modesty issue, don't these manufacturers realize that Halloween is at THE END OF OCTOBER! IT'S COLD, FER CRYIN' OUT LOUD!!!!!!)

[Melissa Wardy]

Hi Dara -
Great post, I had the same observations while shopping with my 3yr old.

Per your comment: "I'm still holding out hope for the "I feel great about who I am and I don't need you to tell me what that should look like" costume.
But I guess it's too hard to fit all that on a package."

I fit that on one package here: www.pigtailpals.com

[SassyCupcakes]

It's so hard and the plus size costumes can be especially inappropriate. I ended up buying this Cleopatra (http://www.costumecraze.com/EGPT27.html) and sewing an extra layer of skirt underneath to prevent me being exposed at the slightest gust of wind. I don't mind looking a little sexy, but if I'm wearing it in public I'd like it to be family friendly. So many of the outfits are basically sex toys.

[Dara Chadwick]

Thanks for chiming in everybody! I appreciate hearing about all these costume experiences.

[Sally]

Hi - I just made this comment on your article over at Psycholgy Today but I really wish I'd made it here so am reposting it - hope that's OK.

"Hey. Maybe I just don't get it, coming as I do from a country (Australia) where we don't really have a history of celebrating Halloween although there are always a few parties around.

But I did live in North America for a couple of years and looked forward to really experiencing this holiday in an authentic way.

I was suprised and kind of shocked when stopping for a coffee in the local mall on the day itself, to see the parade of little trick or treaters going round the shops nearly entirely in shoddy, shop-bought costumes limited to that years crop of popular licenced characters.

Of hundreds of kids I saw two home-made costumes in the hour I watched. A gypsy and a clown - brother and sister. They looked awesome. And neither appeared to be made by a brilliant home seamstress mother with boundless time on her hands, but rather cobbled together from bit's and pieces and augmented with face paint. I could see they were having a ball. I couldn't tell if anyone else was - all faces obscured by a moulded plastic Pikachu or something similar.

How about next year NOT taking your kids shopping for what is available in off-the-rack costumes, but sitting down and asking - What would you like to be this Halloween? Then you can help them make it happen by raiding the family wardrobes, visiting op-shops (charity shops), going surreally low-fi with cardboard, tape and sharpies and only shopping for the extra 'bits' to make it happen.

Those costumes are available here too - sexy cop, lady pimp, slutty girl scout (we don't even HAVE girl scouts here!)but those who wear them are generally considered a little dull and unimaginiative.

Much like Jami's experience [the home-made hippie costume ] above - creativity wins, feeds self-esteem and allows your kids to be their funny, clever, wacky selves that you love so much.

[Dara Chadwick]

Hi, Sally:

So nice to "meet" you -- your comment is most welcome!

I agree completely about creativity. The costumes that my kids have loved most through the years have been the ones they created themselves.

Hope you'll continue to stop by :-)