Today, Sarah Maria joins me to talk about her brand-new book, Love Your Body, Love Your Life. Sarah Maria was also one of the women I interviewed for my book, You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies -- Even When We Don't Love Our Own. Read on for what she has to say about making peace with our bodies and why we've been perfect since the day we were born.
What inspired you to write Love Your Body, Love Your Life?
I decided to write this book because I experienced first-hand the intense pain, suffering and agony that can accompany Negative Body Obsession, eating disorders and low self-esteem. I also know that freedom from this hell is completely possible. I want this book to reach people who are struggling with any and all of the above.
I also wrote this book to help people think critically about concepts such as beauty, as well as the beliefs, thoughts and ideas that so many people take for granted. Beauty is a socially-constructed phenomenon. Different body types, different looks and different sizes are considered beautiful at different times in history. In the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries, curvy and voluptuous was considered stunning. In this culture in this century, thin and muscularly toned is considered sexy. When people recognize that there is no inherent truth in these concepts of beauty, that it is, in fact, a cultural preference that changes over time, it helps to dissolve this illusion that how they look is somehow tied to their value and self-worth as an individual. For many people struggling with a negative body image, they believe that how they look is somehow indicative of, or related to, their self-worth as individuals. Nothing could be further from the truth. When people realize that it is a cultural phenomenon, they can begin to free themselves from the whims and preferences of other people and the world around them, and instead discover and experience their own inherent and unique beauty.
The book is designed to help people transform the way they feel about their bodies and themselves. The goal of the book is to help people create and experience a body and a life that they truly love. For most people, body dissatisfaction has been a life-long struggle. The goal of this book is to help people know that they can free themselves from this struggle. Freedom from Negative Body Obsession is completely possible. But as you rightly observed and pointed out, the material covered in the book can be applied to any area of your life or part of yourself that you struggle with. The principles apply, whether the issue is Negative Body Obsession or some other type of pain, compulsion, obsession or addiction. It is really about helping you discover your power to overcome any challenges and create what you love. As part of this, I work one on one with people as a coach. I also teach classes and plan on offering some tele-seminars in the New Year. The focus of everything I do is helping people discover and uncover the perfection that they already are and create a life that they love.
What did you learn while writing this book that most surprised you?
What most surprised me about writing the book was the level of inspiration that I felt. I knew absolutely nothing about writing a book when I started. Fortunately, I had a solid proposal and outline that I had developed, but I had no idea what exactly I was going to say. I just had a general idea of the principles I wanted to cover. I needed to write the entire book within a very short time period – a few months to be exact. I woke up at 4 a.m. to write and worked every day throughout the whole summer. Magically and mysteriously, I was filled with energy, enthusiasm and inspiration, and I learned everything I needed to as I went along. It was an intense experience and one that I am incredibly grateful to have gone through. It showed me how much is possible with inspiration and dedication.
The most important thing for a woman to know is that you were born perfect. You were born beautiful. You were born perfect, and you will remain just as perfect and just as beautiful every day of your life. For many people, their lives have been a progressive covering up, a progressive eclipsing of this perfection. The media projects a standard of what is considered beautiful. Parents have their own views about what is attractive and acceptable. The medical profession has its opinions about what is healthy. Significant others and even children might have an opinion about what is beautiful. From the day you were born, other people’s beliefs and opinions get progressively layered onto your view of yourself. Your perfection is progressively obscured. As an adult, your path to healing, your path to peace and well-being is to fastidiously remove these false beliefs and opinions, to remove anything that prevents you from knowing and experiencing yourself as the perfection that you are. Tell yourself that you were born beautiful, that you were born perfect, and that anyone else’s opinion is their opinion, and you can choose whether or not you want to listen to it. Constantly affirm your perfection and your self-worth, and wholeheartedly disregard anything that runs contrary to this reality.
The best thing you can do is set a clear intention to improve your body image. If you have a history of struggling with your body image, chances are you have no idea how to improve it. Simply set a clear intention to learn to feel great in and about your body and yourself. Then, begin to look into all the resources that are available to help you improve your body image. Obviously, I recommend taking a look at my website, www.breakfreebeauty.com, signing up for my free weekly e-zine, checking out the products, etc. If a negative body image is truly hurting and minimizing the quality of your life, I recommend you get professional assistance, whether through a therapist, coach or some other type of professional. I offer individualized coaching specifically because it can be so valuable to have someone who has lived through negative body obsession to help guide you on the path. But there are many teachers and resources available. The key is finding someone you trust, someone with whom you feel a connection.
Also, become aware of the messages that you are internalizing. Do you look at magazines and then feel horrible about your body? If so, probably smart to avoid those magazines and find other ones that make you feel good. Do you have friends who make you feel bad about your body? If so, consider spending time with people who help you feel great about yourself. You can begin to make conscious choices about what you allow into your awareness that will help move you in the direction you want to go.
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