The Messenger and The Message

I have a question: Would you listen to me talk about the importance of accepting your body -- "flaws" and all -- if I looked like a supermodel? Would my message of how important it is to accept and make peace with our bodies so our daughters can learn to do the same for themselves still have value if you felt I'd never struggled with my own body image?

That seems to be the question facing some Australians right now.

Recently, Australia's body image advisory group released a proposed National Body Image Strategy that outlined a variety of initiatives designed to help Australian women and girls accept and embrace their bodies. Already, though, the strategy is being criticized -- not so much for its contents, but for the public faces associated with the campaign.

The problem? Minister Kate Ellis, Mia Freedman and Sarah Murdoch are simply "too beautiful."

Sigh.

Here's the thing: While my body image concerns aren't necessarily the same as theirs, I think you'd be hard pressed to find any woman who hasn't looked around her at some point and wondered if she's good enough...who hasn't felt "less than" in some way...who hasn't felt that she was being judged solely on her appearance -- even if that "judgment" is being called too beautiful to have or express a valid opinion.

De-valuing what a woman has to say because you find her too beautiful is as discriminatory as de-valuing what a woman has to say because you find her unattractive. Take a moment to read what Julie Parker of The Butterfly Foundation has to say on the subject. And tell me what you think...

Comments

[Trish @IamSucceeding]

My initial thought was..NO..I would not listen to a beautiful woman telling me to accept me for who I am, but truthfully when you think about it, no matter how beautiful one is, it is truly the person we are, the entire package. Not just outside...but(for me, it always has been) the person within. What makes us...us. Not what our looks make us because those looks(no matter how gorgeous) could be taken away at any moment by a variety of incidents. It is who we mold ourselves on the inside..that is who we truly are...no matter what the "packaging" says.

[Jami]

Hm - Honestly? No. At least not if they've always been beautiful and/or thin. Because I can't help but think they never had the problems I still have. Of people throwing food at them and mooing/oinking. Being told they're too fat to be seen with in public. Shopping for clothes only to find nothing because all fat clothes are is skinny sizes made bigger - and let's face it, we fat girls need our own designs, especially when the skinny girl designs don't even look good on them, let alone someone who's 240 pounds.

It may be wrong of me, but I just can't do it. I can't listen to a beautiful, thin woman telling me to accept myself, because she's never lived through all that. She may have big ears or small breasts. But she's never had restaurants seat her at the worse table in the place, then have waiters/waitresses ignore her. Never had men call her a "fat ugly c**t". Never had her own family tell her that she'll never succeed at anything because she's too fat. Or have someone bomb their e-mail box repeatedly with a poem about how she's so fat no one will ever love her and how she'll have to be buried in a piano crate.

All that has happened to me and then some.

[Dara Chadwick]

Thanks, Trish and Jami, for sharing your thoughts and your experiences. You've both given me lots to think about.

[Emily]

I think that it depends. It would be harder for me to accept that message from someone so much skinnier than me that hasn't gone through the experiences that I have went through (along the lines of what Jami spoke of). However, at the same time, i think that someone who is thin and what the media qualifies as beautiful yet sees in their mind devastating flaws in themselves would have an easier time relating to one of these women. All in all think that it just depends on the person and thats why having diversity is key to relating to the entire population.

[Jami]

Heh, like I've said before Dara, I could give you enough blog fodder to last you for a year or more, or a good shrink or therapist one heck of a book! Covering a wide variety of things with all my Hang Ups and Issues.

I have to have a sense of humor about all my problems. If I don't laugh, I'll scream.

[Julie Parker]

Thanks for the mention Dara - I so appreciate that. I can happily report that since these negative reports about some of the advisory group members came out, things appear to have died down alot.

There has been a big push back from people about the irony of the media critising people for their appearance (no matter what they actually look like) when trying to present a positive document to government that is attempting to help people with their body image.

Thanks again! Always enjoy reading what you have to say about our shared passion.

[elle]

Beautiful women may have been frumpy not so cute girls or overweight women at one time. For all you know, beautiful woman may have all types of issues because her mom thought she wasn't beautiful enough and maybe beautiful woman used to be a bulemic or anorexic. My point, beautiful woman is human and female and like us all has had problems attached to being human and female.

I have been told that I can afford to scarf cookies because I'mpetite and thin, now. But the women who envy me don't realize the struggles I go through to stay this way. How I'm one emotional incident away from eating myself into oblivion. And they don't know how it hurt to be screamed at from cars how fat my ass was. Or how relatives told me I was sloppy and lazy.

So don't knock the thin beautiful girl at first sight. You have no idea what she has been through.