Who's the Real Woman?

Once again, fierce debate has broken out over who, exactly, is a "real" woman. This time, it's in Australia, where Australian model Jennifer Hawkins has appeared unretouched on the cover of Marie Claire magazine. While many are applauding the "real" image of Jennifer unretouched, others have argued that because she's beautiful, she's not "real" enough to represent the rest of us.

I wrote about this topic a while back -- frankly, when I look for a body image role model -- or hero -- what I want to see is someone who's comfortable in her own skin, no matter what that skin looks like. You can be stunningly beautiful, but be who you are. Let's not pretend there aren't some stunningly beautiful women out there who hate themselves...just as we shouldn't pretend that a woman who isn't what our culture would consider beautiful can't love herself, just as she is.

When I wrote about this topic previously, some of my readers said it would be tough for them to take advice on learning to accept themselves from someone who they feel has never had to face the body image struggles that they have faced. I get that. But all of us face struggles every day -- even if that struggle is not being taken seriously because people can't get past your good looks.

For more perspective on this topic, listen to fellow body image warrior, the Butterfly Foundation's Julie Parker, on the subject. 

Again, it doesn't matter to me what you look like. What matters is how you feel about yourself. If you're happy and confident in who you are, you're a body image hero. And you're real enough for me.

Comments

[Sarah]

I agree so much -its the same tendency which derides all thin women as 'not real' and with snidey comments about what men like. I'm short and average build, which people find unthreatening.

[Julie]

"What matters is how you feel about yourself. If you're happy and confident in who you are, you're a body image hero. And you're real enough for me."

Amen to that Dara. Amen to that!

[Jami]

With me, I really only get snarky about the whole "real women have curves" thing when I have someone go on and on and on about how "beautiful and sexy" some thin woman is. It makes me feel worse about myself. Not all women are created equal - but - well, it always feels like the person saying it is doing it as a way to bully me for being fat. Kind of like how a parent might say "Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?" and always praising the other sibling to you and making you feel like dirt.

Otherwise - I don't really get into that whole debate. God made each of us special in our own way. I just want the fashion industry to realize I cannot wear bigger versions of thin girls clothing and start making special designs that will help me hide my flaws - like my flabby arms - and accentuate/compliment my good features like my "bountiful bust." (Cheesy romance novel moment there, sorry.)

[Dara Chadwick]

Thanks, Sarah and Julie, for chiming in!

Jami, thanks for sharing your perspective -- you know how much I value it. And you made me laugh out loud with "cheesy romance novel moment" :-).