Eating Lessons: Forget Rules

Yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with my daughter about a school project she's working on. Her eighth-grade language arts class has been assigned to write a food memoir. The teacher has asked the students to choose a food that is meaningful to them and write about it, including their associations, feelings and history with the food (the only restriction is that it must be a food that the kids have participated in creating and they must share the recipe with the class).

I think it's a lovely project and it has the potential to be quite educational, too. After all, what better way to teach kids about the emotional power of food and eating than to have them examine those feelings?

We were talking about which food she might choose to write about and she mentioned the homemade frosting that I make for birthday cakes. I've always made the cakes for my kids' birthdays and I use a frosting recipe that my mother used to make when I was a kid. I remember sitting and watching her work, knowing that any leftover frosting would soon be mine to spread on a Ritz cracker.

I can still taste the delightful salty/sweet combo.

When I became the mom and began making the frosting for my own cakes, I introduced my kids to the frosted Ritz cracker -- and thus, a family tradition linked the generations.

Originally, the teacher had wanted the kids to prepare their foods and bring them in for the class to sample. But the overzealous health and wellness policy at my children's school has ruled that out. Apparently, the school thinks that if we don't remove all "inappropriate" foods from the cafeteria and classrooms, our children are doomed to a lifetime of obesity and bad habits.

Sigh.

So much of learning to make healthy choices is recognizing that it's your choice. That's why this post by The Fat Nutritionist really resonated with me. When we take away the choice, we make certain foods forbidden -- and that's not usually a good thing, especially for someone like me, who bristles at any sort of authority figure.

Yes, I let my children eat frosted Ritz crackers. And they usually devour one or maybe even two. But do they reach for a third? Not usually. Because frankly, the first bite or two is the best and then you pretty much start to feel ill.

But if I forbade those frosted crackers? I've seen firsthand what happens to kids who aren't allowed any sort of "bad" foods at home. When they get the chance to partake, they eat...and they eat...and they eat because they're never quite sure that they're going to get another chance.  

All things in moderation. And part of learning to moderate is understanding what happens -- and how lousy you feel -- when you go overboard.

Comments

[Melissa]

That combo is making my mouth water, Dara! :) I think what you've taught your kids will go much further than restricting them from enjoying a treat every now and then. I think children have greater control over their gastronomic desires than we adults do -- mostly because they don't have it drilled into them that X will go to their hips; if food is treated as just that -- food -- it won't be a source of agony the way it can be for many adults. I am 100% with you about anything in moderation. Great post, as always!

[Sagan]

Definitely. I kind of shudder to think of the stuff I ate when I was a kid- slurpees and chocolate bars kraft dinner- but I never had any emotional issues with food when I was a kid and my parents always ensured I ate healthier stuff and was active and all, too. ESPECIALLY for children, it's important to enjoy, and not focus so much on "this is good, this is bad".

[Jami]

You know, I've been telling my mom for years that if I deny myself the things I like, the more likely I am to binge, but she doesn't seem to believe that. Even as an adult I find myself sneaking and binging on food. I'll buy big bags of candy and hide them, then eat half or all in one sitting, getting really sick to my stomach but not caring.

If, at 33, I still have such a poor relationship with food even though I have the knowledge of how to have a better one, I can't help but wonder how kids of today, growing up with a Cookie Monster who eats veggies and schools that ban foods will be when they're my age.

(I'll tell you, in school it was constantly "HURRY UP AND EAT!" We were never allowed to take time with our food. Teachers would constantly hang over our shoulders and order us to eat faster. To this day I STILL wolf down my food. Finishing huge meals in less then ten minutes.)

Off topic, but still in theme with this blog in a way - I'm sure you heard about writer/director Kevin Smith being thrown off Southwest Airlines for being too fat. I was reading some of the comments about it and the vast majority were that "all fat people are lazy" and that we fat people have no right to fly because we're "selfish." I got really angry. I found out recently one reason I gain weight and have trouble losing it is because I have polycystic ovary syndrome. One of my mom's friends was 400 pounds and doctors would accuse her of sneak eating - until one finally checked her out fully and found she had a tumor on her thyroid. Then I thought about your blog and what you might've said. Or if you ever thought about doing (or have done) a blog about celebs and their weight. I mean, you see it all the time, Valerie for Jenny Craig, the urban myth about Mama Cass dying from choking on a sandwich, now Kevin Smith being thrown off a plane. I mean, like it or not, famous people influence our culture and how people judge others.

[karin]

I think this is a tough one. I agree with you wholeheartedly that children should learn to recognize their bodies needs and wants and that when you give them a choice they will learn to make wise choices when they grow up. That is why I don't tell my children that certain foods are good and others are bad, but that it's the variety of different kinds of food that's healthy. My children love vegetables and fruits, they eat lots of bread, pasta and potatoes and they enjoy their cookies and some candy now and then. They love some sweetness, but all of them are very well capable of puttings something sweet or candy aside when they had enough.

So, I agree with you on that subject. But when you talk about the policy about food on schools I have to say I am not sure where I stand on that. Ofcourse you know what to teach your children about food, you know how to raise them with a healthy attitude towards eating and their bodies, but that's not the case with everyone. Even though obesity isn't as much a problem here as it is in the USA, here more and more children start having problems in that area. And when I look at the parents I meet in the schools my little ones go to, I realize that some of them really have no idea themselves as to how to teach their children to eat healthy. Some of them just don't eat healthy themselves and think giving their children less bread, for example, while still feeding them fries for dinner every evening, is a good way to control their diet.

So.. I am not sure whether or not the school should be protective of what kind of food is offered during schoolhours. Because I think for some children, that is the only time when they get educated in some way about what's healthy. And the only time in which they really eat healthy food.

[Dara Chadwick]

Thanks, everyone, for these great responses. You've given me a lot of food for thought -- no pun intended!