Jillian Michaels, We Need to Talk...

By now, you might have heard some of the flap over an interview with Jillian Michaels in the latest issue of Women's Health magazine. I haven't seen the actual article, but she's being widely quoted all over the Internet as saying that she plans to adopt a child because "I can't handle doing that to my body."

I'm a firm believer that every woman's body is her own and what she does with it is her choice. I fully respect Jillian's right to create a family any way she sees fit.

But I will admit to being fairly outraged at the implication that pregnancy "ruins" a woman's body -- and at the message that implication sends to our daughters.

If you read this blog regularly or you've read my book, "You'd Be So Pretty If...: Teaching Our Daughters to Love Their Bodies -- Even When We Don't Love Our Own," you know that I spend a lot of time talking about the body image messages we moms send to our daughters, not in what we say to them about their bodies, but in what we say to them about our bodies.

And there aren't many messages that are more damaging to a girl's self-esteem and body image than hearing, "Having you ruined my body."

Teaching girls to love their bodies is about teaching them to make the most of who they are -- not who they wish they were. That message starts with moms who embrace and make the most of who they are.

I thought that's what Jillian was about: Helping people make the most of who they are through healthy changes and choices.

Given the response that Jillian's comments have sparked, I figured she'd be responding in some way. Here's what she had to say about the interview on her blog.

Essentially, she says, her choice is about "remnant body issues left over from childhood." 

There's no denying that pregnancy and childbirth change a woman's body, and the physical form a woman has worked hard to achieve could be gone forever. But time, illness, aging, genetics and lifestyle choices also change a woman's body.

There are no guarantees.

Did having my kids "ruin" my body? No. But the experience certainly changed it -- and changed my attitude, too.

In the end, it's Jillian's choice to make. 

But someday, she just might have to explain it to her daughter.

Comments

[Denise Schipani]

Great post, as always, Dara.

This just helps confirm my opinion of so-called fitness "experts" like Jillian Michaels. Her sole qualification for being a fitness and weight-loss expert is that she did it herself. Now, I'm not underestimating the value of the "been there myself" form of advice, but she (and all her devotees) are overestimating it, and ignoring the value (even if it is more boring and less sexy) of a scientific, realistic approach to getting in shape. A degree in exercise science. Research. Then she could be someone who could teach women (and men) how to work out safely without driving themselves into a frenzy (a la The Biggest Loser). Anyone concerned with body image issues should be appalled that shows like that exist and are popular, and that they thrust non-expert experts into the spotlight, giving her a platform to say what she did about how having a child "ruins" your body. Blech.

(yeah, I'm no fan, right?!)

Denise

[Karen (KCLAnderson)]

Excellent post Dara! And I agree 100% with Denise. BTW, I am child-free by choice, and my choice had nothing to do with what pregnancy might do to my body!

[Alyssa]

I think this speaks, well, yells, to the craziness we've reached in our culture. We CANNOT accept a post-pregnancy body. ALL the magazines tout celebs and the fact that they, and I quote "Look like (they) never even had a baby!"
We see cleavage on every billboard, on our TVs, in the newspaper, etc., but heaven forbid we see a mother nursing her baby in public.
Jillian needs to get out of L.A for a while, hang out with some real people (not on TV), and get her perspective back. If she doesn't want children, that's ABSOLUTELY her prerogative and no one else's business. But if she doesn't want to give birth because it will "ruin" her body, maybe she should see a professional. Especially if she still has issues from her childhood.

[love2eatinpa]

i never thought of it from your perspective! as someone who, i'm 42 and had my kids at 31 and 34. i am in much better shape/weigh less than i did before i had my kids. it's enough that i have to worry about my daughter inheriting my ED, at least she will never hear from me that she ruined my body.

[Audrey Brashich]

I think this is a tough situation. As a body image activist and girl advocate myself, I *get* that not accepting one's post-pregnancy body is problematic. But in truth, I *do* regret the toll that my two pregnancies took on my body. Not because my belly isn't as flat (although, yeah, that kinda bothers me to), but more because my body can't DO the same things it used to.

My first labor/delivery lasted 60 hours (that right, six-oh), and the baby was delivered via forceps. Without going into details, I'll just say the whole experience messed me up physically--and now there's no more marathon running (one of my former passions) for me. In fact, there's no more running down the block. And I miss it everyday. So while I love my kids and understand that my 39 year old body isn't supposed to be the same as my 29 year old body....I empathize with the notion of pregnancy "ruining" something....

[Kiersten]

I accept the fact that Jillian may not be able to handle putting her body through pregnancy. That's her own business. I do not respect the fact that she openly talked about how pregnancy "ruins" a woman's body though. Many women feel insecure enough about their bodies, they do not need to be reading comments like that. NO woman (pregnant or not) should be made to feel like there is something wrong with their bodies or that they should be ashamed of them. Making a statement like that is doing nothing but send out unhealthy messages to women. I think if I was pregnant and read that statement I would feel very insecure about my body.

Personally, I think Jillian Michaels is a bad role model. Instead of motivating people to get healthy and feel good about their bodies, she puts a lot of emphasis on the way you look. Coming from someone who supposedly had body image issues as a child, you'd think that she would understand how putting so much focus on physical appearance could damage a woman's self-esteem. Apparently she doesn't get it though.

[L Campbell]

Ruin my body? My pregnancies made me more comfortable with my body. I took better care of it. Pictures of me in belly dancing costumes in my mid-forties show a very nice body indeed. A normal pregnancy, where a woman takes care of herself, isn't going to ruin anything. A women's body were designed to carry babies--and look good in between so that someone will find us desirable enough to want to have more babies with us. In most women (discounting the unusual or extrememly difficult pregnancy), if her body was ruined by pregnancy it is because she let it be.

[Cheap Christian Louboutin]

*People are always telling you what to do, but what's right for them may not be right for you.

[ClubPenguinCheats]

It's enough that i have to worry about my daughter inheriting my ED, at least she will never hear from me that she ruined my body.